I sit here eating my scrambled eggs and spinach and it seems profound to me. Even though I have eaten so many scrambled eggs with veggies in some way, shape or form in the last 6 years particularly, it feels different today.
I think it was the fact I actually made them myself. I have had the immense amount of help from friends that have brought me food or given me their left overs. I also have been relying on cheap “emergency” food, or just haven’t eaten.
The last several days have been consumed by looking at new places to live. I’m hoping a friend knows someone who is renting out a basement or a MIL apartment since I went ahead and bought furniture for my condo, and then switched gears and was going to have it shipped to Texas.
When I bought the furniture, it seemed like a very special experience. I remember I was leaving Woodbury, and needed to kill some time before an appointment at noon. I wanted to go to Barnes and Noble, but they didn’t open until 10, so I just found a Starbucks in Bloomington (since that’s where my appointment was) and drove.
All of a sudden, I realize I am being taken to the Mall of America. I go with the flow and park. I window shop as the stores didn’t open until 10am. Right about 9:50, I stop at a corner that has Guess and a place called Chicago Furniture. I’m immediately pulled towards Guess because I love their clothing. However, I saw Chicago Furniture open their doors earlier.
I’m very drawn to this furniture. The showroom is gorgeous and a lot of it is modern and contemporary. It was something else shopping with the associate, it seemed like such a unique experience. She was helping me pick out pieces that go together and it was so heart warming.
I was grieving at the time I made this purchase, it was near Mother’s Day. I told the associate that shopping with her made me feel like I was shopping with my Mom. This brought tears to her eyes. It’s special moments like these that makes grief not so bad.
So while I contemplate my last days as I’m eating this very basic and healthy meal, I realize I have made it to a new milestone in my healing journey. I got my first paycheck from being back to work, made nearly all my accounts current. I’m rebuilding my life from it being shattered during my hospital stays.
I cannot begin to thank my friends that have supported me this far. I honestly cannot put into words what it means to me. I need these friends in my life, because I believe friends become the family you choose to have.
I know I have said I wasn’t dealt a hand of cards, and sometimes it still feels that way, however today, it feels like I was at least I keep moving forward in the right direction.
My next large milestone will be where I move, I think once I have that determined I will feel much more at ease. I still have to remember there’s a perfect plan and I am along for the ride. One breath at a time.