Exactly What I Needed

I am so happy I have a job that allows me to take bereavement leave. This past week has been up and down, time of sorrow and time of joy. As I wrote before, my life always has a way of evening itself out.

Thursday night, I attended an event that I was on the brink of bailing. I was making up excuses and reasons as to why I shouldn’t go, and made up my mind to do something else. Just as I was about to leave the house, I get a message from a friend that was leading the fitness event asking if I would like to be on stage. That was the spark I needed to help me make the decision to go to the event.

I honestly cannot put into words how much this event was exactly what I needed. It was Fitbit Local Minneapolis’ event where it was a combination of HIIT training, Dance, and Yoga. I moved my body, endorphins were released, and ending with yoga put me in a place of peace. After the class, I had so many people come up to me and tell me how I crushed the workout and they were impressed. One guy even said, “Way to be a role model up there for the rest of us”. I was honestly shocked when I heard that. I was thinking, “Who, Me?”

This concept brought me full circle, and remembering why I am doing this fitness journey. I got certified as a personal trainer because I want to help people live healthier lives, and not live their life in pain. I want others to realize they can do all the things, just like I can. I’ll leave you with some amazing pictures from the event.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

How Fear is Your Most Powerful Emotion

Often times, fear can be such a debilitating emotion.  It can harbor us from doing so many things.  It can keep us in bed instead of experience life and joy to its fullest.  It can keep us in our shells instead of flourishing into the greatness that we all have inside of us.

So let me ask you this, how much does fear control your life?  Do you let fear get in the way of achieving greatness?  Today, I am here to talk about how you can harness such a powerful emotion, into something positive.  Fear can be a catalyst.  It starts a ripple in your ocean of thoughts.  Do you let that ripple expand and smooth out, or do you welcome the violent rain storm and send your mind spinning down into a hurricane?

fear

I have a few stories to share about how fear has shaped my life personally, and how that emotion has impacted those around me.  My first story to share is about my Grandfather.  I am sorry to report he is not doing well.  He was refusing a pacemaker last week and gave up the will to live.  His pastor stopped by the hospital and asked him a few questions.  She asked if he was afraid of dying, and initially, he reported that he was not afraid of dying and he was ready.  Then she asked him, “So what are you really afraid of then?”  He replied, “Well… I guess the anesthesia”.  To give a little background, his wife, my Grandmother, went under general anesthesia twice in a very close proximity.  This resulted in detrimental effects on her mental health, and ultimately she passed away spring time of last year.  When my Grandfather was under the impression he wanted to die, he told my Dad, “When a spouse dies, typically the other spouse goes in a year….Man, I do not have much time left”.

At this point, the pastor knew the background of the anesthesia with my Grandmother and then pointed out to my Grandfather, “So you are afraid of dying from the anesthesia then?” Then, my Grandfather responded matter-of-factly, “Well, yeah!” “So you do want a pacemaker then?” “Well yeah put one of those things in me”.

It was just like that.  The pastor was able to find his fear, and harness it for positivity.  She was able to change his heart and uncover his true will to live.

Many people are afraid of failure, rejection, public speaking, heights, clowns, etc.  Fear that I struggle with is failure.  I am very competitive in nature, and I want to do the best I possible can do.  I am a high performer, and if I know I didn’t follow through with something, or I fail, this is something that will get to me.  Fear, is actually the reason why I didn’t want to compete in a body building show for the past two years.  I witnessed my roommate compete in shows, and I didn’t understand how the judging worked.  Everything seemed so subjective to me.  I feared putting in so much time and effort, and not even making “call backs” or whatever the second level is truly called.

This year, I changed my definition of success, I am not judging my success on obtaining a trophy or a place in the show.  Success for me will be my journey, becoming the best I have ever been, and adhering diligently to the plan my coach lays out.  My fear has been harnessed to push me into my next level of excellence in fitness.  I cannot put into words how excited I am for this, and I am excited that I am doing this, solely for me.  I often find I put so much time and effort into pleasing or doing things for others.  I have to truly work at and ensure I book time for my own self care.

I’ll end with the last story I have about fear.  Early on in my life, I would say around the time I was in middle school, I was talking to my Father about something that scared me.  I honestly remember this moment so vividly, it was a very pivotal part in my way of thinking.  I was riding in his pick-up truck, explaining how I was afraid of doing something. With the most confident voice he could ever have, he said to me, “Anne, you can do anything you put your mind to”.

(Yes, I asked to be called Anne from age 10-27, and still do in the professional world; I’ll write about that in another post).

I can do ANYTHING I put my mind to.

My Dad has been my biggest cheerleader and motivator throughout my life.  At that moment he told me that, something clicked.  I honestly believed him.  I thought, “Yes, I am a Rathman, I can do anything”.  When fear comes creeping in, the moment I am thinking, “I can’t”, I hear my Dad, “Yes, you can”.  Fear is deep, but if you dig deep down and harness it, you can use that emotion to slingshot you into something you may never thought you could do before.

I’ll close with this final thought.  Please use your most powerful emotion as a catalyst for positivity.  You will surprise yourself of what you are capable of.

Check In #2

Day 15 Whole30, and I am half way there!

Every Tuesday I provide check-in stats to my coach, and below are my metrics:

Weight: 144.3 lbs

Measurements:

  • Chest: 36″
  • Waist: 27.5″
  • Butt: 38″
  • Thigh: 22″
  • Bicep: 11″

I’ve decided to not upload my progress pictures because there isn’t a noticeable difference between last week. There isn’t a huge noticeable difference in my weight either, in one week it went down 1.3lbs.

What is something to note, is my difference of inches compared to last week. I am down a full inch in my waist, a 1/2 inch in my thigh, and a half inch in my butt.

This goes to show, that the number on the scale does not reflect the full and true result of your body composition change.

I am happy to see that I am thriving with my workouts and eating Whole30. I don’t feel the full effects of tiger blood, but here are a few of my “non-scale victories” I’ve felt already:

  • Falling asleep faster
  • Better quality of sleep
  • Whiter eyes
  • Waking up easier
  • Going to the tightest loop on my belt
  • My once tight work pants now fit well

I am excited to see what next week will bring, and my full metrics from Whole30. I am half way there, and I’ve said this almost every day I’ve talked about Whole30, it’s not that bad.

I think a huge game changer for me has been meditation. My coach suggested downloading headspace, and I can’t put into words how much more at ease I feel. I love the image below, it changed my view of meditation. I thought when I meditate, my mind should be clear and I should squash all thoughts that circle my mind. But in reality, I should just acknowledge that was a thought, and be at ease with it and let it go.

I will now sign of with gratitude. I truly appreciate if you are reading this and welcome all comments. I am honored you are reading what I write. Thank you.

Tough Love

Day 11 of Whole30 – Day #2 of “The Hardest Days” of Whole30. They say day 10 and 11 are the hardest days because it is statistically proven if you quit your Whole30, it is most likely to be on day 10 or 11. There usually isn’t any type of instant gratification when it comes to Whole30. By day 10 & 11, you are pretty invested, you have been significantly changing your lifestyle for about a week and a half, and many people don’t see or feel results. Many people will even step on the scale during this time and get upset that the number hasn’t gone down, and it may have even went up!

One thing I really love about Whole30 is their concept of tough love. Yes Whole30 is hard, but it is not that hard. To quote their tough love (hyperlinked above),

“We know this is hard.

It may not be as physically challenging as birthing a baby or as emotionally draining as the death of a loved one, but changing the way you think about food is hard.” (Whole30 Tough Love).

We look to food when we are happy and celebrating things, when we are sad and need comfort, when we are exhausted and have had a long day, we believe we need some sort of treat to wind down because we deserve it. How do we start changing the way we think about food? We need to start thinking about it in a different way other than just a way to cope with our emotions or the way we feel. I’m not saying to not enjoy and celebrate the food your eating, but to come up with other ways to cope with your emotions.

Yesterday, I had a rough day. I had a long day at work, and then was told some troubling news about my Grandfather. All I wanted to really do is to sit down and have a glass of wine. What I did instead? I enlisted help from my friends and had a friend come over, talk, and hang out. Talking about the things I was dealing with provided me an outlet to process my emotions, rather than eating them.

When we are seeking comfort or relaxation, we need to find a different way to cope rather than taking the tub of cookies and cream ice cream out of the freezer. The way I decided to cope last night was not only keeping me Whole30 compliant, but it was a way for me to talk through and process how I feel. What if we could remove food from the way we deal with our emotions, and then cope with them in a positive way?

This is a big reason why Whole30 says it can change your life. You are changing your relationship with food. You’re breaking your emotional barriers/ties/associations with food. Something I’m actually very excited about is a new purchase. This purchase will elevate a way I cope with emotions and relax. I purchased a bath “caddy” where I can put a book/candle/La Croix/whatever I want to use as I “treat my self” to some relaxation. I plan on using it tonight. If you’re interested, here’s the one I bought (please know this is not an affiliate link, I do not retain any kickback from posting this). However when I opened it up last night, I can attest to the high quality of the material.

I know there’s a wine glass holder, and trust me, I’ll definitely be putting a wine glass in there tonight. However, I will be filling it with bubbly water. I will still feel like I’m “treating” myself because I am using a fancy glass.

SIDE BAR – I also just purchased a yearly subscription to Headspace, which is a guided meditation app. Day 2 of my guided meditation, and it is going well. I’ll be using this app when I am relaxing in the tub tonight for sure. I try to meditate in the morning after I workout. Here’s what today’s meditation left me with:

I think meditation will really help once I start my nutrition prep for my bodybuilding show. Tough love and meditation, that is what will get me though. Oh, and I get by with a little help from my friends. Happy Friday everyone!

We All Start Somewhere

Well it is Day 7 of my Whole30 and I apologize for being quiet on my site. To be honest, the last few days have felt exhausting due to the change my body is going through. My body now is forced to find other sources of energy than sugar and simple carbs. This process depletes your energy levels in the beginning, but in about a week, I will start to feel phenomenal.

I wanted to post some metrics from my InBody scan I had done on New Year’s Eve. Please see below:

As you can note from above, I am starting off strong. I have a significant amount of muscle to start with, but I have a decent amount of fat as well. 23.3% is where I’m starting, and many bikini competitors get their body fat lower than 15%. I have a lot of work to do!

Sunday I had an amazing conditioning class with my coach and I am so honored to be surrounded by so many motivating women!

And that class was no joke, check my Fitbit stats:

I think that is all for now. Just wanted to give a baseline of where I’m starting. I’ll have pictures and measurements taken tomorrow and I may just update my post here.

I’m drinking Bigelow benefits tea right now, it has tumeric, chili, and matcha in it. I was pleasantly surprised to see what it said on the tag:

Calm, well rested, balanced, happy, these are all words we aim to be. But we must remember, we all start somewhere.